Friday, August 14, 2009

He thought... I thought...

First- some history:
7 (or so)years ago my husband started these glorious WELCOME years of retirement.
This wonderful, faithful man went to work in a job he absolutely hated for over 30 years. In 1970, as a college graduate (degrees in Biology and Chemistry) he took a position as a computer systems analyst- thinking 'this will only be temporary!' He dreamed of working in wildlife management, or in the fisheries, or something along those lines...but there weren't many of job opportunities out there.
So in order to make a living for his growing family ( I was pregnant and not working in the nursing field yet) he took this interesting titled job in a field that was clearly new. He got on the job training for this MONSTER computer that took of an entire floor of his building. There were a couple of opportunities in his desired fields here and there. He applied for those jobs the first few years- but nothing promised anything more than temporary position. One interviewer did give a verbal promise of a long term position ...when the temporary position expired...but because it wasn't in writing, and my husband did not want to risk the security of the current job. (Anyone remember the Recession in the 70's?) Before too long the days, turned to years, and although he loved most of the people he worked with, his job was drudgery. So...when the opportunity came to retire early he JUMPED AT IT! and with my blessings- he really DID deserve it.

HE THOUGHT that life as a retiree was going to be pure bliss...get up when he wanted, go to bed when he wanted, basically do what he wanted, WHEN he wanted.

Me? I thought that he would tackle those things around the house that needed to be completed, ("to do list"), maybe take on the laundry, maybe learn to cook
, DO SOME DISHES ?!!! keep up the yard.. you know lessen MY burden since I continued to work as a nurse, and came home tired.

Pretty early on I realized that he MISSED human contact! Every night I would get home, and the moment I walked in the door to the moment I went to bed- he chatted- I mean HE CHATTED!!! I thought I would go crazy! I yearned for some peace and quiet and quickly realized that I could find some quiet time as I bowed out to do the laundry, or do the dishes ( no -he never did take to doing these things!)
After over 30 years of having a non communicative husband, suddenly I was dealing with this man who I didn't know! He would joke ALL the time, giggle at me- make me angry of course- and I realized that this was the lost man- the man I knew 30+ years ago, the humor that I fell in love with- and where the Heck had he been?!!! could I REALLY live through this?? Thank goodness I was still working!!!!
I figured out then that this would take an effort on my part- he was ready to play! A wise woman once said "Take the boy out of the man, and you lose the man" (Faith Dodge- in the 1980's) I wasn't really sure if I could walk this out.
I then realized that his place of employment had taken the best part of my husband for years- I got the left over stuff - in the evening, when he was tired, when he just wanted to unwind from the office politics and stress of the job... I got the quiet, and I spent my lifetime dealing with it, and praying for a change.
NOW here was my answer! and it was pretty uncomfortable!!! and I had to Thank The Lord for answered prayer! ( I realize too that GOD HAS a sense of humor) and it wasn't easy- but I have been learning along the way!

3 comments:

andrea said...

how cool that you can see an answered prayer after so many years! it's true that office jobs really can suck the life out of people. i know this from experience!

and dad certainly is a different man since his retirement. how fun! i have never seen you guys laugh and joke as much as you have in the past couple of years.

LOVE it :)

Keila said...

How wonderful to learn of your history from your own perspective, Mom! Thanks for sharing this and keep it coming!

Anonymous said...

Amen
Unk Ter!!!!