Season change

During worship tonight I had a memory vision of walking through a department store- it was 23 years ago, and I was struggling in a valley and was using this shopping excursion (with my then 16 yr old) as an diversion. As we walked by the perfume counter one of us decided to try on some different scents- I walked out that day with my first bottle of good perfume, and wore it for 23 years! It became the signature smell of me- mom, gramma, friend, sister, wife. My children would tell me that when they rode in my car, they got the instant thought of me, since my scent was on the seat belt.
Fast Forward to Christmas 2008- my husband finally tells me he never liked my perfume... and bought me a new one. The new fragrance was nice, it resembled another fragrance I was familiar with, but it was different- and though I would use this new perfume -often... It wasn't me...except tonight, Oct 2, 2009... when I put it on I smiled, - odd feelings, like this was me now... I was comfortable with it, sort of like warm fuzzy feelings you get when you smell the whiff of autumn, hear the crunch of your shoes walking through dried fallen leaves or other such memories of comfort.
So then, tonight at church... after this memory vision during worship.. I realize that this vision is to remind me that who I was yesterday, my comfortable places of yesterday are vanishing,and I have been and am transitioning into this new season ...whatever that all means. One thing I am certain of is that it is a closer place with my husband, and that is good... really good. Oh he hasn't really changed, maybe mellowed out a bit..but we have grown close, and have the good sense to laugh at ourselves even in disagreements.
Anyway on to tonight... the visiting Preacher man gives his message- and boom... did it speak to me!, My last 15 years... became very clear in hindsight, not to mention what the Lord has impressed upon me this last year- getting my finances in order, leaving my position at work, and all that has been between He and I especially these last few years...It made sense , answers , understanding and things that I was having a hard time letting go....I needed to let go, let it ALL go... and move on- that is good. Confirmation..wow

I also realized that while I was recognizing truth as it lined up with my personal walk with the Lord- there were others who have watched from a distance- probably with their binoculars, stained with second hand information- who have absolutely no idea of where my heart is or where it has been, where my walk is or where it has been, and they , well meaning of course, I have no doubt they love me though they stay miles away.... they could potentially have completely different take on this whole thing. And that is sad, very sad... but that too I shall let go and move on