He thought... I thought...

First- some history:
7 (or so)years ago my husband started these glorious WELCOME years of retirement.
This wonderful, faithful man went to work in a job he absolutely hated for over 30 years. In 1970, as a college graduate (degrees in Biology and Chemistry) he took a position as a computer systems analyst- thinking 'this will only be temporary!' He dreamed of working in wildlife management, or in the fisheries, or something along those lines...but there weren't many of job opportunities out there.
So in order to make a living for his growing family ( I was pregnant and not working in the nursing field yet) he took this interesting titled job in a field that was clearly new. He got on the job training for this MONSTER computer that took of an entire floor of his building. There were a couple of opportunities in his desired fields here and there. He applied for those jobs the first few years- but nothing promised anything more than temporary position. One interviewer did give a verbal promise of a long term position ...when the temporary position expired...but because it wasn't in writing, and my husband did not want to risk the security of the current job. (Anyone remember the Recession in the 70's?) Before too long the days, turned to years, and although he loved most of the people he worked with, his job was drudgery. So...when the opportunity came to retire early he JUMPED AT IT! and with my blessings- he really DID deserve it.

HE THOUGHT that life as a retiree was going to be pure bliss...get up when he wanted, go to bed when he wanted, basically do what he wanted, WHEN he wanted.

Me? I thought that he would tackle those things around the house that needed to be completed, ("to do list"), maybe take on the laundry, maybe learn to cook, DO SOME DISHES ?!!! keep up the yard.. you know lessen MY burden since I continued to work as a nurse, and came home tired.

Pretty early on I realized that he MISSED human contact! Every night I would get home, and the moment I walked in the door to the moment I went to bed- he chatted- I mean HE CHATTED!!! I thought I would go crazy! I yearned for some peace and quiet and quickly realized that I could find some quiet time as I bowed out to do the laundry, or do the dishes ( no -he never did take to doing these things!)
After over 30 years of having a non communicative husband, suddenly I was dealing with this man who I didn't know! He would joke ALL the time, giggle at me- make me angry of course- and I realized that this was the lost man- the man I knew 30+ years ago, the humor that I fell in love with- and where the Heck had he been?!!! could I REALLY live through this?? Thank goodness I was still working!!!!
I figured out then that this would take an effort on my part- he was ready to play! A wise woman once said "Take the boy out of the man, and you lose the man" (Faith Dodge- in the 1980's) I wasn't really sure if I could walk this out.
I then realized that his place of employment had taken the best part of my husband for years- I got the left over stuff - in the evening, when he was tired, when he just wanted to unwind from the office politics and stress of the job... I got the quiet, and I spent my lifetime dealing with it, and praying for a change.
NOW here was my answer! and it was pretty uncomfortable!!! and I had to Thank The Lord for answered prayer! ( I realize too that GOD HAS a sense of humor) and it wasn't easy- but I have been learning along the way!

In the beginning.

In the beginning ( i.e. the beginning days of my blogging) I couldn't figure out what I really wanted to blog about. What on earth could I write about that would be remotely interesting? So with some encouragement from fam I focused on my crafts, daily life of changes of moving, setting up household etc. Occasionally I would post some meaningful personal life's lesson or encouragement- but honestly it pretty much felt flat. It was hard to really express myself out there in this new public form of journalling. I still kept up my personal journal...and trust me I would NEVER put those thoughts out here in the land of blogs- who knows who would use these words against me?

So what has changed? Perhaps it was Julia and Julie movie that I watched with my oldest Granddaughter - encouraging me to be who I am in this season of my life. I think more accurately it could be said that I have been mulling over this for a while- how to spend my days? doing what? how can share with family and friends what daily life has been in this Autumn season of life- with me drinking my tea on the back porch (aka the deck) And how to do this with a positive spin (to replicate someone I love who only talks about the positive on her blog) I still want to share my life of doing what I love in my sewing/craft studio. I love sharing my thoughts as I decorate this home in what I have finally found to be me. But I also would LOVE to share some of these daily moments of living with my retired husband- and how these moments have lifted me, and warmed me. I would love to relate the smiles, and sense of contentment that goes along with our daily efforts to blend this life of two people who spent over a quarter of a century living together on separate paths. It has certainly has ups and downs, but these days are full of joy not unlike the smile upon my soul when I walk in those country mountain paths breathing in the earthy fresh air of the forest.

Its been difficult to share some of this verbally- primarily because everyone is soooo busy these days- so much calls for our attention, demands our time, our minutes... steals from those quiet moments that we,(woman) need! To sit and chat- with other women, older or younger- Just to share life- to gain some encouragment, or to be an encouragement to others.

So today is a new beginning. An inner challenge to start sharing some of these moments- in the written word on this blog, where you the reader will be able to read on your own timetable and hopefully, prayerfully, you might find in my words a glimmer of hope, a whisper of wisdom, a smidgen of truth buried between the lines, which will make your today or your tomorrows a little brighter.

Stop by again, have some tea, and sit with me on my porch.